. . .In The Details Of Today

Lately I've been thinking about what it means to live in the present. I think it’s a phrase we hear all too often and not many of us know how to put it to practical use. The more I think about the concept of enjoying each day, the more I realize that it’s a process. I don’t believe it’s something that once someone has they will always have. 

I was recently having a conversation with someone from work about how I spend some of my days off. I answered that since I've started working at night I do a lot of sleeping during the day and occasionally find enough energy to stay alert an entire day. He then said he felt bad for me and offered advice by saying that I should either stop work nights or not work as much that way I can have time to enjoy my life. At that moment I knew I couldn't disagree with him more, although I didn't say it. What if I enjoy work at night? What if I enjoy sleeping at a different time? Now, I know this may sound annoyingly optimistic, but before you think so hear me out. This life rushes past us like fast blowing wind. Before we know it’s Friday, before we know it the year is over, before we know it’s our birthday yet again and as crazy as this may sound before we know it we’re married, having kids, finishing college or starting a new job. And the crazy thing about it all is that when we look back we sometimes can’t even remember the details from each experience. We go through life WAITING for the next exciting moment, all the while missing the ones in front of us. For example, some of us can’t wait until the day is over to spend time with a friend and while we do we can’t help but talk about how we want the hours of days to fly by so we can attend a certain event on the weekend and once the weekend rolls around we can’t stop thinking about how we want the next week to rush by so we can finally go on the vacation we planned. And I hear this one all too often, many can’t wait to find love and once it’s found, they anxiously rush their dating experience to get married, engaged or move in together and before they know it, it already happened and ended. The sad part from this rushing insanity is that at times we look back and realize we never got to take in the moment or remember the details from each season and realize we missed out on so many little bits of happiness because of it. Now, there is one thing I know for certain about this life and that is that each moment is priceless. I know that I want to look back on my life and know that each day I found a reason to smile and lived days full of meaningful happiness. Not only on the days I went out with my friends but also on the nights I couldn't sleep, the days that seemed routine and those times I learned things the hard way. And each day, I hope I can remember EVERY detail in it as having some kind of worth. I hope that I don’t rush my days to get to the next and realize at the end that I missed out. I hope that I can remember the names of the people I met,  the details of the new places I saw,  the good conversations I had, the new things I learned and as simple as something may be I hope that I remember it and find it meaningful.  I hope that I’m not waiting for something to happen to be who I want to be and I hope that I’m not waiting for my life to change, to change the world around me. In other words, I hope that I’m NOT WAITING for my work shift to change, or my vacation to come or a new relationship to start or school to finish, or the weekend to come or anything else to enjoy my life. I hope to stop anxiously looking ahead and start noticing this moment’s details.

And so I am committed to slowing down, taking a deep breath and looking around me paying attention to the details of this very moment while admiring them, learning from them, and enjoying them no matter where I am. I hope that my happiness today and everyday is not dependent on what I do, but rather on what I take time to notice.